Friday night we had candlelight meditation at the Yoga Studio and I agreed to share a little something. I plucked up the courage to share a poem that I wrote recently. A lot has been on my mind over the past few weeks. Some might call it a breakthrough, emotional awareness, spiritual awakening… whatever you call it this poem is what tumbled out of my head. I cried as I wrote it. When I began to read, I didn’t even tell people it was mine. I read it crying, silent tears.
Let It Go – a poem by Di Hickman
“Just drop it, relax, let it go“
Easy for you to say,
You don’t live in my head,
Every minute, of every day.
My mind will rewind, and replay,
Every situation, that didn’t exactly go my way.
I ponder things to come, that stir up fear and doubt.
Leaving me wondering, what my life is really all about.
Why am I afraid?
What am I so scared?
I long to live a life free
from fear, from judgement, from vacant stares.
“Just think of something else, busy yourself”
They just don’t understand
my mind isn’t always attached,
to what’s immediately at hand
“There’s nothing you can do it about it now, just let it go“
I smille and stay quite, still thinking, you’ll just never know
Sometimes I feel frozen, there is no fight of flight
I’m stuck here, worrying, like a long winters night
Then suddenly, slowly
Worry and fear begin to release their grasp
All I had do…
Was simply, ask
What is it, my mind, that your desire me to learn?
Deep in my head, a new voice can be heard
We’ve been waiting so long, for you to question!
What we are here, and why you worry so.
We’re here to remind you, that you are worthy,
Of so much more than you know!
We don’t mean to stall you and stop you in your tracks
Our goal is to help you learn,
To behave differently, in future tasks.
See, you put up some barriers, long, long ago
It’s time to break down the walls, and let it all go.
Connection to others, you see, that’s where it’s at
And you cannot do that by putting on an act
Be authentic, be real, share who you REALLY are
You’re unique, individual, you’re a shining star.
What’s happened, has happened.
Forget what could have happened,
and what you could have said.
Instead learn and grow,
rather than stay in your head.
How magnificent your life could be
If you allowed your true colors to show
What’s the worst that could happen?
IF you stay stuck you’ll never know!
Rediscover yourslf, realize who you really are
Throw caution to the wind, my love, you will go far
There is no point, reliving trauma of the past
Instead, live, like every day is your last
What would you do if you knew you’d die tomorrow?
You’ wave goodbye to this solace and sorrow
Stop ruminating, and instead take time to sit
Allow the mind to stop running, if just for a little bit.
So next time you find yourself stuck in your mind
Take the time, to stop and unwind
Don’t think of the future,
don’t think of the past
Be in the present,
where you’ll find your peace, at last
And with, that the voice left, leaving me smiling
Where I, at one time, had been frowning
So, here I sit
Making this worry in my mind, go away
Allowing the true me, to emerge
Becoming more vulnerable, day, by day.
I sit, and I sit,
I watch the thoughts come,
but, now I know
I allow them to be seen,
and then, I let them go
I no longer fear fear,
there is no worried brow
Peace has been found
I’m Living in the now
Afterwards, people asked “Where did you get it?”. Time to face the truth. I admitted that I wrote it. I received praise, smiles and lots of hugs. But still I feel self conscious. Because this is my thoughts. My feelings. However, in a bid to be authentic, the real, me, connected and self aware. I’m being vulnerable and keeping it here as a memory of the event, and my bravery.
Feel free to share.